We've been together 16months and we just broke up a month ago. I knew I'm still young for this but he was my first boyfriend, first love and first of all the first. I didn't really expect it would happen easily and didn't expect that he would just let it go away. He didn't even told me before that he had this "cold feelings" since summer vacation started because we never had the chance to see each other during summer because he was in some places far from where I was. I don't know if I have the rights to blame him for that reason. But what I really hate about this breakup was I still don't understand his reasons why he wanted to break up with me. He told me that it's because we wasted too much time instead of spending each day together. That we do not have enough communication (because we do not have internet connection that time and he doesn't even have phone because it was broken) for us to chat or atleast we are having a conversation. That he felt sorry for what kind of boyfriend he was to me. Srsly, I don't know what he was talking about because for me, he was the perfect boyfriend. It was a long message from Facebook and I do not have the strength to read it all over again because tears run down my face everytime I was trying to read each word in that goodbye message. That night that he was trying to break up with me, I knew I should have let him go because he already told me that even if it was unfair for me that he made the decision of one-sided breakup thingy, I should understand him. And he told me that he knew I understand him. He also include in his words that he wished I wasn't crying anymore while I read his message. And who the hell who won't cry in her first heartbreak who thought that it would be forever? He promised that we would be together forever. I knew this sounds crazy, but a promise is a promise. But I had to say goodnight that moment and told him that I don't agree with him. I will not let our relationship slip away with that one snap. Days passed, I was still trying to make a way for us to be together again. I used my friends for them to chat with my ex and tell him that breakup is not the solution, instead we should talk about it and blahblahblah.. I begged my friends for them to told him how much I love him and everything. And one of the hurtful things that I've ever heard from him from my friend was this.. [i]"Kung mahal na mahal nya talaga ako, wala na akong magagawa dun."[/i] It feels like he's really letting go of me and never wanted us to get back together. Still, I didn't give up. And here comes the point that my guy friend who is also his friend who texted me. That guy friend asked my ex why he broke up with me and his answer was this, [i]"Makikipagbreak ba ako kung mahal ko pa?"[/i] Yeah, he's too cool to answer just like that. Unfortunately, we still broke up even If I do not want to. Even if I asked him if he still love me, he just told me, "Yes, but it's not enough for a relationship". I don't know if I will feel satisfied because he still loves me or hurt because we can't go back in our relationship. We had our clear breakup last June 02, 2013 and it's been 1 month and 6 days passed. He's still my schoolmate. Not my classmate, just in the other section. I still see him during morning activity, some break-times and dismissal. Ofc, I'm still trying to stay away and focus myself with my friends and other things. But you know, I can't blame myself if I'm still regretful. If I could just erase my feelings, then I must be moved on now. But life's full of surprises, pain and everything. I knew I'm still young and I'm hoping that I would be like you guys who would just laugh with this first heartbreaks when I get older.