Lol I thought I was clear enough when I wrote this chapter. Hahahahhaha sorry yall I was writing it thinking it was a script for a series episode I didn't want to write about my character yet because I said in the very beginning that I'm gonna give an overview of the school. Well I did say "They" are always together. So I shifted the focus to both of them so when I referred to "he" it was clear that it was the Coach since Glenice did mention that aya was only there for the Coach...hmm. guess that wasn't clear enough D; The dialogues that I created are ways for the reader to know about the character. When I wrote, "wow he really did it" --> it's a foreshadowing that will come next chapter, means he'll do something big, etc oh man I can't believe i'm gonna say this directly it's like giving away what I planned for this story basta guys I'll do better on the next chapter. It was a quick intro, but don't stress too much on the details. My whole purpose here is to give hints, so it's a bit fragmented since I'm moving from one character to another (also shows that I as a character do not know these people personally, and that what I know about them are the rumours circulating around the school and I judge them the way I perceive them [one example is I even thought the hazeef is a friendly guy when in reality he's a pervert who likes young girls]). From my narration you can actually tell I'm pretty silent and I am very observant about my surroundings. gah English is so hard guys tagalog nalang joke HAHAHAHHA but thank you guys for giving me suggestions/criticisms. I'm not really that much of a writer so...these kind of things help me

Last edited by chaw (2014-03-20 02:28:18)